Dear readers, this month we have two reflections on the daily lives of dancers in our new normal. But first I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge some losses in our community. Tonight we learned of the death of Nancy Stark Smith, one of the founding mothers of contact improvisation and beloved teacher and artist. She inspired many events, including this one that took place here in Salt Lake just less than two years ago.
Our city’s own Laja Field wrote on instagram, she was the “epitome of a strong, bold, passionate woman. I’ll never forget the first time I met her at Bates Dance Festival in 2011. Basking in her presence was enough, but goin g to her contact jams and actually being able to move with her was a dream. She was a serene force, deeply rooted, nimble, extraordinary.”
On the NYTimes website, I also learned about the death of an artist I wasn’t aware of, Don Campbell, inventor of the Campbellock, better known as “locking”. As NYTimes staffer Daniel Slotnick writes, “Campbell invented locking, a style that eventually permeated hip-hop dance, because he had a hard time doing the robot.”
“He was practicing the robot with friends in his college cafeteria in 1970 when he forgot the next step. He locked his joints and froze for an instant, dramatically accentuating the dance and captivating his spectators.”
Reading about these deaths reminded me that I have been looking for a way to acknowledge another recent passing closer to home. Stefanie Slade, dancer and longtime production manager at the Rose Wagner, died earlier this year in February. I didn’t have the privilege of knowing her well, but I always enjoyed her energy and wit when we interacted at the Rose. Her obituary can be found here. I noticed today that Melanie Maar, a choreographer in New York, posted this radio documentary about Stefanie Slade. It’s worth listening to.
Below are reflections on life in the last few weeks by Hannah Fischer and Kendall Fischer. I don’t believe they are related. In fact, I don’t think they know each other, but their pieces on the strangeness of recent times exist nicely side by side.
—Samuel Hanson, editor
Insert profound title here: the view of one grad student…
In early March 2020, when I read that Duke, Harvard, UCLA, and the University of Notre Dame had moved all of their classes online, I knew it was just a matter of time until I received the same news from the University of Utah. I made it back to Salt Lake City from a trip in time to visit Weller Book Works before all non-essential businesses closed. I had been off-campus at an artist residency for three weeks in Florida, one of the first states to declare a state-wide emergency. Within five days of returning home, the University and downtown had become ghost towns.
Dance students and faculty have been rolling with the punches since the announcement to cancel the rest of the semester. Despite fear and uncertainty looming in the background, I've been continually inspired by the dance community's commitment to connection. There are so many options to move 'together' virtually, I cannot keep up.
In the last few weeks, I've seen a new set of values running parallel to the 'let's keep dancing' discourse. The 'you don't have to do all this' conversation around toxic positivity and permission to rest is an essential counterpart to the onslaught of screen time. Alexandra Beller's essay ISOLATION, OBSTACLES, TOXIC POSITIVITY, AND MAKING ART IN A CRISIS came at a crucial moment in my personal process two weeks ago. "If you are feeling optimistic and positive, enjoy yourself. If you are feeling rage, apathy, grief, frustration, and resentment, live in them fully. There are no good or bad feelings. There is no hierarchy or goal for how we should feel (not ever, and especially not now)".
As our hyper-productive world tries to smash itself into our homes and our most protected spaces, I ask myself how much of that outcome-driven perspective is useful for me at this time. Like anything else, it's not only wrong, and it's not only right. Sometimes I need to sit down at this computer and crank some shit out. Sometimes I need to let the university to-do list wait. It is an ongoing navigation.
Working from home 100% of the time can blur our boundaries of attention and productivity in a way that keeps us in fight or flight mode all the time. Add financial instability, career unknowns, and weeks of earthquakes to the equation; Salt Lake City is ripe for anxiety.
My students have told me repeatedly that they feel they are working 10+ hours a day every day, still never denting their to-do list. Even with faculty pairing down their course requirements and extending deadlines, the mountain of work feels insurmountable. I, too, have felt overwhelmed by a sense of endless, impossible tasks. And then I often immediately feel bad for feeling that way because I am fortunate in so many ways; I have a place to shelter in, a partner to shelter with, income for another four weeks. However, this cocktail of misplaced guilt, overwhelm, and fear does not help anyone. It freezes the nervous system, holding me in place with a heightened heart rate, immobilized.
Perhaps the new baseline of immobilization explains why online movement classes have been well attended for over a month now. Moving the body is one way to move through fear, moving the juicy guts to rearrange ourselves. In movement, we can feel more of ourselves than the primary passion drives of frenetic doing, trepidation, stagnation. Emilie Conrad writes in Life on Land, "The encompassing fluid movement of love is where fear and vigilance can soften" (27). I certainly need fear and vigilance to soften, I can feel their presence in my thoracic spine. In movement, we can recover ourselves and recuperate from the contained state of staying home with our screens. Dance class, however, is only one way to recuperate.
In the Laban/Bartenieff Movement System (LBMS), we talk about rhythms of exertion and recuperation, often framed by the Effort category of the system. Rhythms of exertion and recuperation allow us to change approaches, both from a strictly movement analysis perspective, and also by allowing different parts of ourselves to make choices. For example, writing this post requires a different part of my creative and analytical mind than grading papers, and therefore alters my attention. Shifting attention allows me to adapt, to stay malleable and porous, which are attributes I desperately need right now.
In the time of COVID-19, exertion and recuperation have changed forms dramatically. What might have been exertion before, a dance class, might now be a recuperation from sitting in Zoom calls. How do YOU feel after four hours of Zoom calls? I find myself increasingly attracted to short, discreet tasks like making lunch or watering my plants as a way of recuperating from managing the classes I facilitate and the ones I attend. Walking uphill to 11th Avenue has become a great recuperation, letting my heel bones swing forward, fully advancing my torso as I push and rise up the hill. As I walk, I can allow my eyes to scan the streets and sky, taking many things in without searching or comprehending. An experience of expansive focus is significant after hours and hours of direct attention on a screen, a book, or even one of my little recuperations in my home.